As A Student- I Hate Alcohol
Why I have a love hate relationship with the drinking culture at university.
So right now I’m sitting in my bed. Post night out. And not just any night out.
A night out that did not end how I expected it to. What led me to this point was the carpe diem mentality. They say seize the day. That phrase has transcended through centuries. From carpe diem to yolo. We have the mentality that if something is going on then we have to be on it. Especially during this COVID era, there is a pressure to always be down for anything at any time. That’s how I felt. And I cannot blame anyone for that.
The reality that alcohol is a drug
First of all, no one talks about the depressive effects on alcohol. Maybe it’s just me, but in the moment I feel extremely confident, my personality is a 100. It’s all good vibes . And for someone who overthinks everything and is quite and anxious person, feeling care free is a rare occurrence. So I always grab that opportunity. Alcohol is actually a drug. Let’s deep it. It’s a drug. And the relationship I have with it is very unhealthy. Using something to make yourself happy or to feel less anxious. Of course that’s a drug. But it’s so socially accepted to do so that we no longer view it as a drug.
Why does it make me feel depressed?
Now to how to I feel now. I’m in that moment where I regret what I did. And not because I did anything that I would not have normally done in particular but because I’m disappointed in myself. As in, the reason why I drank is not good.And because of this, I feel like I’m attacking every part of myself. My personality, my body. I feel like I’m very ugly inside and out and I attention seeking too compensate for it. Just so people know who I am. I feel like my presence is tolerated and not wanted. I feel very deflated. These are the feelings I was trying to escape by drinkng but alcohol had the reverse effect. I can’t 100% blame these thoughts on alcohol but I can say that it played a factor in how I feel. And nobody speaks about this side of the pond. The depressive effects of alcohol.
The fact that alcohol is a depressant that affects the levels of neurotransmitters such as dopamine and serotonin in our brains. “Do you want a drink?” is not a simple question, the real question is “Do you want to injest a fluid that will affect your mental state of mind?”
So now, back to the point I’m sitting on my bed at home, after walking in at 12pm just overwhelmed with disappointment. And was it truly worth it?
